Telegraph news: Guns, Cabbages and Burglaries.

Today my news is from the Telegraph (don’t worry, I’m not a Tory quite yet), due to problems with car insurance, I’m at my grandparents house being fed rather well, and not having to look after myself (life is hard sometimes).

Let’s see, first story to catch my eye… Ah yes, the leading page four story about Marine commandos complaining about their equipment. Some of you may be saying “A bad workman blames his tools.” And I would reply that, as my uncle (a civil engineer) would say: “You can’t get a good job done with bad tools.” And if I’m honest, a rifle that you have to fire into the baddies 15 times before they die, is probably a bad tool. The 26 year old SA80 is described as “dead” technology and is disliked by pretty much everyone who uses it. Maybe it’s time for the MOD to just get over it, and give them all lightsabers instead.

This next article may cause heartache, hatred, and possibly a slight sense of vertigo. You have been warned. Supermarkets, it appears, are considering dropping the Iceberg lettuce from their shelves in favour of “more exotic leaves with sharper flavours.” This, on top of recent news that most of the years supply of Purple sprouting broccoli was killed by the extended frosts we’ve had in the past few months. At this rate I’ll be living on tumbleweed and thistles by summer.

A police station in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk was broken into and burgled, after a window had been left open. This happened a day after the police began a campaign to help stop burglaries, by telling people to lock their windows… Methinks the irony fairy had a fun time with that one.

Let’s finish with the ‘lighter side’ of the news (hmm, maybe this blog isn’t as serious as it should be), and a story about a pensioner who, getting out of bed in the middle of the night, found a drunk man who had broken in through a window and was trying to steal over £150 worth of knickknacks. The 62 year old, not in the least perturbed by the hammer he was holding, proceeded to tell him off, making him put her belongings back, and clean up the mess he’d made. She probably had a go at him for not taking his shoes off before coming in. All I can say is props to you missus. I reckon there might even be a job for you as security guard of a certain police station in Suffolk that I hear has had a bit of bother.

Have a good Saturday night everyone! Unless you’re French in which case, here’s a Kleenex…

P.S.

For any of my avid readers who don’t pay attention to the Six Nations. The French are upset because they just lost. Poor dears.