First and foremost I want to make a quick apology for not posting anything in a while - I know you all have nothing better to do than read my ramblings and I'm sorry for causing all this heartache - but It's been such brilliant weather down here, that I just couldn't bring myself to sit indoors in the gloom while there's glorious sunshine to bask in (he said, shifting position and wincing as sunburned skin grated painfully against his chair).
Alrighty then, stories that matter to me today. Well, in life threatening news, seven brands on paneer cheese - from Everest Dairies - have been recalled because of worries that they may contain traces of veterinary medicine. However, there doesn't seem to be much of information about what type of medicine is in the cheese. Surely that is an important point, right? I mean, I wouldn't want to eat cat ear medicine for example (the stuff tastes horrible! nowhere near as good as scented soap*) but if it was say... Worming medicine. Couldn't hurt to have a little extra insurance, am I right? Hmm, I'm seeing a niche in the market.
My next story is a little out of date perhaps (28 March), but I stumbled onto it and thought it was pretty cool. Some of you may have heard of the Young Engineer of Great Britain Competition. I certainly hadn't but then pobody's nerfect are they. Well, a sixth former from Hull won the top prize by making a pair of jeans, that double as a drum kit. That's right. He apparently wove sensors into the fabric, which make the different drum noises when hit. That is a pretty cool invention, and it won him £1000 prize money (personally I think that's a little stingy for a national prize) and a place representing the UK at a science and engineering fair in Los Angeles in May. I can only think that perhaps his legs could get a little raw from all that slapping and patting (this is swiftly turning into a bad joke about masturbation so I'm going to move on now).
Finally, in scientific news (we're finally getting high-brow), scientists have used... science. To create technologies that allow you to move computer cursors, wheelchairs and even play video games through THOUGHT. To quote the Internet: "OMFG." Do they even realise what they've done! this is exactly how Inspector Gadget started, and we all know how that ended: Skynet. I think. Maybe I skipped a few scenes but my point is no less valid for that. The doom of humanity is approaching.
Now, where the hell did I leave my "The End is Near" sandwich board?
Medicinal Cheese Story
One Man Band Trouser-boy
Human Apocalypse Story
*To clarify, scented soap does not taste as good as it smells. Trust me.
lololololol
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