Here are some stories from today’s paper that caught my eye.
Firstly, stealing the thunder of the A-levels, this year’s GCSE results have found that the gender divide is growing wider, with girls streaking ahead in most academic subjects. Surprise, surprise, adolescent boys have something to do with their hands that’s more fun than revising…
Next we have a report that fewer students are taking modern languages (I think they‘re all waiting on ancient Sumerian to be reintroduced to the syllabus), with the number of students taking French and German having fallen by 13% since last year. Speaking as someone who took both Italian and French for GCSE, as well as French at A-level, take it from me. It’s because they’re hard. Besides if you go abroad all you have to do is talk loudly at people. Everybody knows that.
Bad news for the obese, next, as scientists have found that cutting 500 calories per day does not, in fact, result in a one-pound weight loss per week, as had previously been thought. Reasons include changes to the body’s metabolism as weight is lost. To summarise, that one chocolate bar you forgo, does bugger all. You’re probably best off following Ricky Gervais’ advice: put the fridge in the attic and make yourself work for your food.
In London riots news, a looter who stole a coffee flavoured ice cream, only to lick it once before giving it away as he didn’t like the taste, was given a 16 month jail term. Now, I have no problem with him getting a jail term. After all, it’s the principle of the thing that matters. But what I don’t understand is how one person can get a year and a half sentence for nicking an ice cream, when another can admit to looting, in court and be given a one-day prison sentence which he doesn’t have to serve, since he had been in custody for most of that time already. Will someone please explain the logic of that to me? Obviously the guy will get a criminal record, but still, a day! it probably costs a lot more than it was worth just to process the guy. Unfortunately I can’t find a link to that particular case, but if anyone else can, I’d be much obliged.
And finally, everybody’s favourite Italian PM, Silvio Berlusconi has announced herbal tea, to be the secret to his success. So if you want to be just like him, get drinking that tea! Well… that, and become a massive media mogul, who runs a country, and has ‘relations’ with loads of beautiful young women…Here endeth the lesson.
Gender Gap: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-14666847
Modern Languages: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/the-big-question-why-are-fewer-students-choosing-to-study-foreign-languages-at-gcse-413245.html
Ice Cream Looter: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/8722733/UK-riots-Looter-who-pinched-too-scoops-of-ice-cream-jailed-for-16-months.html
Berlusconi’s Superdrug: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/berlusconis-diet-secret-revealed-herbal-tea-2344114.html
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