Thoughts from the Gap: Manners, Politeness and the "Upward Nod of Acknowledgement"

It's been just over a week since I finished my first year of university and came back to chill out in Devon for a few months, and I realised I had forsaken my beloved Avid Readers for far too long. Especially since I left you with that terrible post about 'Converged Media Texts.'

I'm afraid I have to admit that I have been slipping in as far as actually reading newspapers and generally having an understanding of what is going on in the world. As such, this is going to be another in a series (that I have decided to do) of musings that leak out of the many perforations in my brain.

This post is about manners. Manners are the sort of thing that are ingrained in us from a young age and tend to define us as people. The English are stereotyped to be incredibly polite, and indeed it is an old English tradition to intensely avoid embarrassment, for oneself, but much more for the benefit of others.

In an attempt to think of an example of politeness, the first thing to come to mind is (to quote the Internet) that awkward moment when two people are walking towards each other along a path, or pavement. They are both desperately trying not to meet each others gaze. Yet at the same time, they sneak furtive glances at one another the closer they come, until, crescendo! each person realises that whilst they do not want to insinuate themselves into their counterparts day uninvited, it would be far too rude not to acknowledge them, culminating in a slightly hoarse, and generally very short, exchange that will more often than not, leave them both relieved to be done with it, and wishing that they had had something better to say than:

"Hello"
"Hi"
"Alright"
"Afternoon"
"Evening"
"Lovely weather for it..."

Or of course, the popularly neutral "upward nod of acknowledgement."

I discovered something interesting the other week. This is my own personal experience, but I find that I'm more likely to receive a positive response from the above situation if I'm doing some form of exercise i.e. running, cycling. I can only think that this is because I represent the vitality of youth (he says with a sideways smile) as opposed to the lurkers, the smokers, the HOODIES that plague the younger generations.

Of course, maybe I've grown too used to Hampshire and people down here in Devon people are just nicer.

Thanks for reading this pointlessly meandering message from beyond the boundaries of space and time. With any luck I'll get back into the habit of decently written nonsense in the near future.

Remember Avid Readers, manners cost nothing, and as always,

Much Love.

Local News One-Oh-One and a Half

Today, I though I’d buy my local paper and, just sort of walk you through it, maybe make a little light mockery. Firstly I want to make a couple of points: the Kingsbridge and Salcombe Gazette is only a weekly paper, bear in mind, this is the West Country, where nothing much happens. At all; and also, I want you to keep an open mind and don’t stereotype us before you know about us. We aren’t all farmers and fisherman you know. Bearing all of this in mind, let’s begin.

It’s a tabloid format for a start, front page has three stories on it, one is just a picture of some children from one of the local primary schools who had raised money for Comic Relief. The main story dealt with the local police, saying that due to spending cuts, more will be moved towards the Totnes area (it’s full of weirdoes over there so they need a strong presence). And the last one is about… a farmer. Brilliant.

Moving swiftly on, page two has some god-awful alliteration fo us to enjoy: “Players preparing a perfect production.” you can smell the rube-ness through the internet can’t you? There are also several stories basically complaining about teenagers and the like. Par for the course when you live in an area where people come to die in peace. Page three (don’t worry I wont do every single page) has some pictures of schoolchildren… awkward times.

The next few pages hold the family announcement section, designed to embarrass anyone who has the gall to turn 18 by putting up a baby photo of them, as well as several local ads some karate related stories, and a report saying that more than a third of the South West’s teachers have been abused online. That’ll teach them to set homework.

This is followed by Letters to the Editor. I don’t really need to describe them do I? you can guess the calibre. Village Voice then rears its head, this is essentially a few pages in which local residents write a small column about what is happening in each village or town of the area.

At this point I did get a little bored so I skipped ahead to the Readers’ Pictures. A section in which people can send in pictures of the area looking nice. One of these put a smile on my face: “Great tits in Strete” says the caption… It’s a picture of some birds! you dirty minded little minx.

We then have some pages of random things such as “Delving into the Past” which looks at pictures and stories from the 1950’s and earlier. One details a gravestone of a girls who was burnt at the stake for poisoning her boss. This was about 70 years ago now (Kidding! We’re not that backward, it was 1782 if you actually want to know). Then there are the Classifieds (anyone want a bridesmaid’s dress. Pink size 8-10. £10?)

From then on there’s a little about real estate, and finishing with the sport, we seem to be losing everything except netball (and this weirded me out because there were boys on the netball team,  I mean they were primary school kids but still).

Conclusion time! I feel a little wrung out. There’s just something you can’t get away from when it comes to local papers. It feels as though your Grandmother wrote it. And that you’re being told off. Maybe that’s just Devon, or more specifically, the South Hams.

Let me know what sort of reaction you get from your local paper. If you read the whole post and are still awake.

Back to the Old County!

Aright Avid Readerrrs? You may be a’le to guess, bu’ Oi’m back’n Dev’n! Ahem! Sorry about that, the accent here is so infectious it even changes how you write. It’s like living in an Irvine Welsh book!

Maybe one day, if you’re lucky I’ll do a recording of some Devon accents for any of you who may not know just how amazing it is. I know, bated breath right? Come to think of it, here are some Devon lads in a town a couple of miles from where I live, just, having a chat:



Anyway, onto some real news (tongue well and firmly in cheek). Being in Devon reminded me of news story I heard about a week or so ago. Essentially, it says that despite a rise in obesity, European countries are also seeing an increase in life-expectancy. Thereby dismissing fears that todays generation will be the first to die before their parents. Now I feel I should point out that I don’t think that this is one of those “CHOCOLATE CAKE MAKES YOU LOSE WEIGHT” type of crappy surveys. The bloke who found this, has been studying it for 40 odd years (that’s a lot of jiggling), and he’s from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, so I don’t know, he could very well be legit.

But is this now going to be an excuse for people to just pig out and then complain that they deserve better quality of life because they just won’t die? I’m not sure how PC that last bit was…

It’s just a strange perspective for me, I’ve never really spent much time around biguns. Growing up in Devon (a pretty healthy place) I can fairly confidently count the number of really obese people I know, on one, maybe two hands.

Of course I have always been pretty bad at maths…

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12771594

2012’s Coming Early

Picture from http://politicalclimate.net

That's right avid readers, get out your sandwich boards and take to the streets proclaiming that the end is nigh! Domesday is approaching, and there’s nary a thing you can do to stop it. Unless of course, you don’t live in the UK. A cheeky deception.

For those of you who stick to the opinion that I’ve lost my mind, I’ll remind you that that has nothing to do with what I say… especially when’s I’m being as clever as this. I’ll stop being odd for a moment now and actually make sense of my blathering for you.

The 2011 census is being prepared for distribution on Sunday 27 March, because that’s what people look forward to on a Sunday morning, bureaucracy. It has been a decade since the last census and will no doubt ask the same thrilling questions as usual. How many pairs of underpants do you own?  What’s your favourite flavour of fish? I don’t know, something along those lines, I was 10 years old when the last one came out, do you expect me to have paid attention? I’m pretty sure Mona the Vampire would have been more interesting, and that show made me want to put pins in my eyes.

As a side note, whilst doing a little research into the census, I found out that you are able to put your nationality down as Cornish. I’m sorry, what? First they put a monopoly on pasties and then they’re claiming they’re a nation! Why can’t I put down Devonian as my nationality eh? It’s favouritism that’s what. It’s a conspiracy between the surfers and the government. Let’s just make it official and put down a militarised zone all around Cornwall filled with landmines and crimp-on-top pasties. If they want to be their own nation, let’s separate them, right?

Hmm, I’m not quite sure how a blog post about a census, and a bad joke about the first ever census of the country, conducted by William the Bastard in 1085 and called the Domesday Book (and you thought I was being a crazy person talking about the apocalypse), ended up being a rant about Cornwall, if it’s any defence, bear in mind I am from Devon. There has always been a certain… antagonism between our two counties.

My bad.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12661100

Local News 101

Having been in Hampshire for about five months now (excluding a month at home for Christmas), I think it's really starting to feel more and more like home. I'm not much of a city person, in the sense of feeling choked with fumes, and surrounded the homeless. And Winchester doesn't count as a city in my book, it's basically just a bigger version of my hometown in Devon, only flatter.

It was only in reading reading an article on the BBC news website for Hampshire that I found myself truly integrating. The article is as simple as it is amazing. It is entitled: Pies and sausages taken in Hampshire garden centre raid. Apparently, a group of daring thieves made of with nearly 50 savoury pies, as well as 18 pieces of cod and a box of jumbo sausages! This credit crunch has forced people to become criminal masterminds!

But the reason I'm relating this story to you is that it struck a chord with my Devon roots, this kind of story would be page one news in my local Gazette. Indeed, there was a story back in January about a man in police custody which said (and I'm quoting from memory here, so this almost certainly won't be verbatim): "The offender then went on to vandalise his cell - with a pasty." If journalism really is turning information into money, I think they struck gold with this. But wait! it gets better: "Apparently [they wrote] he was given a pasty for lunch, and took exception to the fact that it was not heated, and smeared it onto the walls." This is about the extent of crime in the South Hams.

I honestly can't put into words how happy this story made me, and I was elated to read about the Hampshire crooks taking it up a notch. I truly am in Home, Sweet Home.


And they say nothing happens in the Country...


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-12524295